my top ten problems right now:
1- I am not at comic con
2- I cant go to comic con
3- I am unable to go to comic con
4- I dont have a chance to go to comic con
5- Comic con doesnt contain me
6- I am not at comic con
7- I AM NOT AT COMIC CON
8- I AM NOT AT COMIC CON
9- I AM NOT AT COMIC CON
I AM NOT AT COMIC CON
(P.S: I cant go to comic con)
There are several that call to me… Idk if it’s because of what the sigil mean or if it’s just because they’re pretty…
50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print.
Click image and magnify for large version.
Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstanding, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
Reblogging because relevant
And I believe as far as the contract went, he told her she couldn’t discuss it with her best friend & if she had any questions to Google them. Because Google is 100% accurate.
Firstly, SSC IS NOT THE ONLY MANTRA IN BDSM. Can we /PLEASE/ stop forgetting that RACK exists as well and is just as valid?
Secondly, BDSM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.
What is considered an abusive relationship and what are considered abusive behaviors in Vanilla (non BDSM) terms, standards, and relationships IS STILL CONSIDERED AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IN D/S TERMS, and both can be just as damaging.
LINK DUMP TIME BITCHES.
- Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 1
- Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2
- When Does Punishment Go Too Far?
- Thinking More Clearly About BDSM and Abuse
- The Abuse Debate: A matter of Acceptance, Not Consent
- A Field Guide to the Creepy Dom
- 10 Red Flags of A Bad or Abusive Dominant
- The Bad kind of Pain
- Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship
- Assault Is Not OK
Trigger Warnings for abuse, assault, rape, etc.
Now. Let’s get on to the bullshit:
"But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. It is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction."
1. It being an adult erotica novel makes absolutely NO fucking difference. In fact, as an adult, the author should have known better and should have known to do her fucking research- which she did not.
In fact, there’s a FAR better example of Fictional Adult BDSM literature out there called Sunstone. Here’s the funny part though: Both SS and FFoG were both written by people uninvolved in and heavily removed from the BDSM community (which we call “Vanillas”). Except the author of Sunstone managed to do enough research to get it RIGHT and produce an amazing, well thought out, subculture accurate graphic novel…. And the author of FSoG managed to produce a steaming, inaccurate, completely abusive pile of shit.
Even better? The author of of SS even manages to accurately talk about and illustrate important topics in BDSM relationships like abuse, subdrop, and similar problems, WITHOUT CONDONING THEM, AND WHILE POINTING OUT HOW HARMFUL THEY CAN BE. FSoG on the other hand DOES NOT DO THIS AND INSTEAD ENCOURAGES AND ROMANTICIZES THEM.
So don’t give me that “oh it’s an adult fictional BDSM erotic novel!!!” tripe when there are actually perfect examples of how to do “Adult Fictional BDSM Erotica” CORRECTLY AND IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT ROMANTICIZE OR EXCUSE ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS AND RELATIONSHIPS.
2. “The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim”.
That is an inaccurate representation of Domestic violence and abuse. Abuse may also sometimes involve manipulation, coercion, refusing resources, controlling behaviors, random and unpredictable (sometimes violent) mood swings, etc.
Physical abuse IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE THAT ONE MAY EXPERIENCE OR ENCOUNTER. Psychological Abuse, Emotional Abuse, and Verbal Abuse ALSO EXIST AND ARE JUST AS DAMAGING.
Furthermore? Not all victims are aware, at the time, that they are being abused- I wasn’t in the first 3 abusive relationships I found myself in until I learned how to recognize the signs.
3. “So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction”
THAT IS LITERALLY THE FUCKING PROBLEM. THIS IS FICTIONAL ABUSE. IT IS ROMANTICIZED FICTIONAL ABUSE THAT ANYONE EVEN REMOTELY INVOLVED IN THE BDSM COMMUNITY KNOWS IS FUCKING ABUSE.
4. “actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.”
To those who are uneducated about BDSM IT IS DANGEROUS MATERIAL BECAUSE IT NOT ONLY ROMANTICIZES THIS ABUSE AND PASSES IT OFF AS ACCEPTABLE “BECAUSE IT’S BDSM”, IT ALSO REINFORCES PRE-EXISTING NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THE FUCKING COMMUNITY AND LIFESTYLE.
Someone being a fucking ADULT doesn’t make a goddamned lick of difference when they are uneducated about a subject and a book romanticizes it into being the norm and/or acceptable.
For all my baes who need to get their facts straight. Thank you for the knowledge, friends.
Great break down post, but it TOTALLY overlooks one of the most horrifying parts of the books… the glorification of adults sexually abusing teens by pulling them in to BDSM relationships they don’t have the maturity or experience to consent to.
Call it “adult” all you like, encouraging sexual exploitation is NEVER ok.
I love your writing, so here's a prompt: Emma couldn't believe the things his voice did to her.
A/N: This could not have been anything else except smut ;))
His voice slides over her like honey — warm, thick, smooth — and she is helpless to the delicious little shivers that zip through her body at the sound. It’s more than just the accent, though that certainly doesn’t hurt, it’s the special tone he reserves specifically for her. It’s quieter, breathier, a few octaves lower when it’s for her, and Jesus does it make her head spin. Even when he’s angry, and especially when he’s flirting, it entrances her, pulls at her insides until her stomach is in knots and sparks dance along her spine.
She could listen to him talk for hours — days, months, years, forever — and never get tired of all the little inflections and the way words just roll off his tongue, or how he carefully constructs sentences in that dashing, poetic way of his that is meant more for courts and balls than the modernized time he’s found himself in.
She adores his laughter intermixed with his sentences — loud and boisterous or gentle and soft and everything in between. She likes how it fills the air and caresses her skin — soothing and comforting and familiar. It’s a small wonder, one she relishes in and cherishes, one she memorizes until she can clearly recall his voice in her head or hear it in her very dreams.
But she loves it best when he says her name, Emma or Swan — it doesn’t matter. Neither does the circumstances. He could be screaming worriedly at her in the midst of battle, or he could be teasing her over hot cocoa with cinnamon in the morning, or wildly upset at something or another, or in the throes of passion — crying out during his release or murmuring against heated flesh.
She’s a goner every single time.
And she should have known better when he’d somehow figured out just what his voice could do to her, should have backed down the minute he’d smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth, and held her gaze with a mischievous little gleam in his eyes — care for a bet, love?
Sweet mother of partha this is sinful…
And I know of two people in my past and currently that could very possibly do this to me.. if there was the patience for it.
Is there going to be more of Dinner Theatre?? I love all of your fic i just can't wait to see where that one is going.
Argh! Dinner Theatre is bouncing around in my brain, I just have to figure out where I want to take it!
Blame Sex Ed…. it’s taken over my writing muse.
*melts at the stupid handsome face*
Oh the Sex Ed one is brilliant too quite … entertaining… *wink* just finished reading chapter 7…
Can’t wait to see how THAT goes!
As someone who has been in the lifestyle for 4 years now, I find 50 Shades of Grey to be a slap in the face to what a true Master/slave relationship is like. It gives three horrible misconceptions about what it is like to be in this kind of relationship.
Those things are.
- 1) M/s relationships are mostly about hot, kinky sex. This is not the case at all. M/s relationships are based on trust and for a man and woman to be in their natural state of dominance and submission. It’s about her trusting in him so much that she can give herself over fully and find comfort in pleasing him. Not just sexually, but emotionally and articulately .
- 2) It’s okay to be in an abusive relationship if he shows you that he cares/loves you. Christian Grey is an abusive, manipulative asshole who prayed on a naive girl who didn’t know what she was getting herself into. Yes- everything might have been “consensual” but he fed off the fact that she was new to everything and was easily manipulated. Speaking from someone who has experience with a false-dom who did the exact same thing to me when I was new to it all, it’s a dangerous thing. It’s men like this, when it comes to the lifestyle that we are told by people who have more experience to avoid.
- 3) Dominance, and wanting to live your life where you have order and control - especially in a M/s type relationship is caused by a dark past that a man has not gotten the proper help with, therefore with the right girl, he could “over come” those issues and find a way to be “normal.” Basically, a good-girl-can-change-a-bad-boy sort of thing, which is NOT the case. Natural dominance is not a mental issue or something that someone should have to fix. It’s primal.
Those are my issues with this series. It drags my way of life through the mud and makes it out to be something that it it not. M/s relationships, when done correctly, are beautiful. It creates an amazingly strong bond between two people that is both rewarding and intimidating.
Fucking yes bless this post
We’re not much of fans about the gendered way this is written, but it’s a fairly accurate critique. Please do not support this movie.
Please please PLEASE do not support this movie.
I have a resource page and the blog that I re blogged this from is a wonderful resource as well.
Going to have to get tumblr savior
Because I love the people that I follow… but with 50 Shades of SHIT coming out I do not want to see that crap on my dash.
Makes me angry and want to shank something.
“Where the fear has gone there will be nothing… only I will remain.”
Half-Life 3 mystery solved
My friend Christina makes amazing gorgeous jewelry please take a look!
Wow!!!! Stunning work!!
Princesses handling their